Douglas Adams

Sep 03
2009

A few years ago I read a book entitled The Salmon of Doubt, which was a collection of the late author Douglas Adams’ unfinished, unpublished, and under appreciated works.   Known primarily for his famed Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Dirk Gently series and of course for his insights into the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, some of Douglas’ other talents and passions seemed to escape under the radar.

Slewn among the comical essays and chapters was an excerpt that he wrote in 1999, two years prior to his sudden and unexpected death.  The few paragraphs were written in response and presumably annoyance to Americans who had no understanding of the wonders of tea.  When it comes the the value of loose leaf tea, well, Douglas says it best.

Here is a unique glimpse into the mind of a genius.  Enjoy.

Tea

May 12, 1999

One or two Americans have asked me why the English like tea so much, which never seems to them to be a very good drink. To understand, you have to make it properly.

There is a very simple principle to the making of tea, and it’s this—to get the proper flavour of tea, the water has to be boilING (Not boilED) when it hits the tea leaves.  If it’s merely hot, then the tea will be insipid. That’s why we English have these odd rituals, such as warming the teapot first (so as no to cause the boiling water to cool down too fast as it hits the pot).  And that’s why American habit of bringing a teacup, a tea bag, and a pot of hot water to the table is merely the perfect way of making a tin, pale, watery cup of tea that nobody in their right mind would want to drink.  The Americans are all mystified about why the English make such a big thing out of tea because most Americans HAVE NEVER HAD A GOOD CUP OF TEA.  That’s why they don’t understand.  In fact, the truth of the matter is that most English people don’t know how to make tea anymore either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants.

So the best advice I can give to an American arriving in England is this:  Go to Marks and Spencer and buy a packet of Earl Grey tea.  Go back to where you’re staying and boil a kettle of water.  While it is coming to the boil, open the sealed packet and sniff.  Careful—you may feel a bit dizzy, but this is in fact perfectly legal.  When the kettle has boiled, pour a little of it into a teapot, swirl it around, and tip it out again.  Put a couple (or three, depending on the size of the pot) of tea bags into the pot.  (If I was really trying to lead you into the paths of righteousness, I would tell you to use free leaves rather than bags, but let’s just take this in easy stages.)  Bring the kettle back up to the boil, and then pour the boiling water as quickly as you can into the pot.  Let is stand for two or three minutes, and then pour it into a cup.  Some people will tell you that you shouldn’t have milk with Earl Grey, just a slice of lemon.  Screw them.  I like it with milk.  If you think you will like it with milk, then it’s probably best to put some milk into the bottom of the cup before you pour in the tea.  If you pour milk into a cup of hot tea, you will scald the milk.  If you think you will prefer it with a slice of lemon, then, well, add a slice of lemon.

Drink it.  After a few moments you will begin to think that the place you’ve come to isn’t maybe quite so strange and crazy after all.

About the Author:

Sarah Price was born and raised in the Sonoran Desert in Tucson, Arizona. She has worked as a member of the Maya Tea Company for three years, and enjoys incorporating flavors from the desert into the tea company’s signature blends. For more information about Maya Tea Company or for a list of available tea blends, go to http://www.mayatea.com . For more information about Tucson’s local products, visit http://www.farmersmarkettucson.com .

Article Source: ArticlesBase.comDouglas Says it Best – Musings of the late Douglas Adams on the value of Tea

Douglas Adams: Parrots the Universe and Everything

Harper, Ted (II)

Jan 30
2008

Harper, Ted (II)

What is a Zeugma?

Zeugma is a rhetorical device where a single word is made to refer to two or more words in a sentence, often playing on the words’ literal and metaphorical meanings.

Smiling with a crooked smile that did little to hide his crooked intentions and crooked teeth, he said “Trust me.”

The verb ‘To hide’ controls two other words: intentions and teeth. But what is worthy of note in this zeugma is the juxtaposition of an abstract noun (intentions) to a concrete one (teeth).

Now, however, sloth triumphs over diligence, idleness over work, vice over virtue, arrogance over valor, and theory over the practice of arms which lived and shone only in the Golden Age and in the time of the knights errant (Cervantes 465).

I found her enchanted, transformed from a princess into a peasant, from beautiful to ugly, from an angel into a devil, from fragrant into foul-smelling, from well spoken into rustic, from serene into skittish, from light into darkness, and, finally from Dulcinea of Toboso into a lowborn farmgirl from Sayago (Cervantes 671).

With this simple device Cervantes adds delight and color to the narrative-by means of antithesis-at the same time that cultivates the reader’s attentiveness, forcing him to put two and two together to grasp the intended meaning.

Zeugmas used in a humorous vein:

Lenox said, “Hog, the only thing you save is your breath when you eat.”

After two unsuccessful marriages, I find myself keeping my guard up, along with my underpants (Grafton, C is for Corpse 15).

In Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice, we note Portia’s saucy speech:

How oddly he is suited [outfitted]! I think he bought his doublet in Italy, his round hose in France, his bonnet in Germany, and his behavior everywhere. (Act I, scene ii, line 72-72).

Zeugmas used to set the tone of a book, as in the Vicar of Wakefield:

From this motive, I had scarce taken orders a year before I began to think seriously of matrimony, and chose my wife as she did her wedding gown, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as would wear well (Goldsmith 4).

Zeugmas in Dialogue:

“Eliot, Michael’s untimely departure leaves us with a space both in our house and in our hearts” (Segal 112). “To our beloved new leader Jason Gilbert, ace racket-man and incomparable ass-man. May his shots in court drop as often as his shorts in bed” (Segal 143).

The governing word may be a noun as well as a verb, as we see in the following examples from Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, where the controlling word is the noun ‘hand’:

Calpurnia was something else again. She was all angles and bones; she was nearsighted; she squinted; her hand was wide as a bed slat and twice as hard (7).

and the controlling word is the verb ‘lost’ in the following example:

Mrs. Radley had been beautiful until she married Mr. Radley and lost all her money. She also lost most of her teeth, her hair, and her right forefinger (Dill’s contribution) (39).

From the above examples we infer that zeugmas may be employed to give the narration an air of lighthearted humor or banter. Just as the fool in Shakespearean dramas breaks the solemnity of the scene with parody and foolery, so does Cervantes in Don Quijote:

At this moment a gelder of hogs happened to arrive at the inn, and as he arrived he blew his reed pipe four or five times, which confirmed for Don Quixote that he was in a famous castle where they were entertaining him with music, and that the cod was trout, the bread soft and white, the prostitutes ladies, the innkeeper the castellan of the castle, and that his decision to sally forth had been a good one (Cervantes 29).

When zeugmas join concrete and abstract nouns, the combinations can stir up the reader’s emotions. Tim O’Brien’s novel The Things They Carried is replete with this type of zeugmas:

As a hedge against bad times, however, Kiowa also carried his grandmother’s distrust of the white man, his grandfather’s old hunting hatchet (3). He carried a strobe light and the responsibility for the lives of his men (5). But Ted Lavender, who was scared, carried 34 rounds when he was shot and killed outside Than Khe, and he went down under an exceptional burden, more than 20 pounds of ammunition, plus the flak jacket and helmet and rations and water and toilet paper and tranquilizers and all the rest, plus the unweighed fear (6).

See how Gabriel Garcia Marquez creates atmospheric tension with the use of one governing verb, ‘listening’:

He got dressed by feel, listening in the dark to his brother’s calm breathing, the dry cough of his father in the next room, the asthma of the hens in the courtyard, the buzz of the mosquitoes, the beating of his heart, and the inordinate bustle of a world that he had not noticed until then, and he went out in the sleeping street (Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude 27).

We haven’t exhausted the topic, for there are other zeugma derivatives that depend on what slot of the sentence the zeugma is placed in; but their sophistication can cause ambiguity and confusion; therefore we do not recommend their use.

About the Author:

Retired. Former investment banker, Columbia University-educated, Vietnam Vet (67-68).
For the writing techniques I use, see Mary Duffy’s e-book: Sentence Openers.
To read my book reviews of the Classics visit my blog: Writing To Live

Article Source: ArticlesBase.comZeugma -Rhetorical Device Used By Master Writers


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