Harper, Craig S.

May 28
2008

Harper, Craig S.

Even as a teenager I learned that, as a rule, the stuff which tasted great was bad for me, and the stuff which tasted like complete crap, was gonna do me the most good. What a ridiculous notion. What kinda weird-ass, nasty prank is that to play on a fat food-loving kid? So not fair. So not a lesson that I wanted to learn.

“Whaddaya mean, donuts don’t have the same nutritional value as vegetables? Let me see that research paper.”

As a somewhat resourceful (code for smart-ass) chubby thirteen year-old, I actually could have run workshops for the masses:

* Vegetable Evasion 101.

* 50 creative things to do with vegetables at the dinner table, other than eat them.

* How to create the ‘illusion’ of vegetable eating.

* Managing your fear of vegetables through cognitive disassociation.

* Developing your own vegetable allergy.

If the entire range of vegetables started and finished with potato, I would have been a vegetable-a-holic. I could, on occasion, stretch myself to carrots, but only to keep the Vegetable Police off my back momentarily. Peas were mushy crap, the asparagus smell was worse than my school bag (that’s saying something), brussel sprouts totally creeped me out, and I had re-occurring nightmares about broccoli; it reminded me of teeny, weeny trees. Didn’t look like food to me. Disgusting.

For the majority of my teenage years, my mother and I actually engaged in vegetable warfare.

Gotta say, in her thirties, she was quite the tactician. She needed to be; I could spot a hidden vegetable at thirty feet. Mothers do that you know; the vegetable ‘hiding’ thing. They’re trained in it by their mothers. And their mothers, mothers before them. We poor, simple men live in the dark when it comes to this stuff. I’ll write an article on that one day.

As I got older, she became more and more skilled and increasingly cunning. Not fair really, I was just a dumb kid. You grow up thinking that mothers are all ‘love and light’; they’re not. They are sneaky, resourceful, creative and extremely strategic adversaries. Sure, they look all cutesy and caring; it’s a complete scam. They are hard-core. They are simply vegetable pushers in frocks. Yep, many significant battles were fought at the Harper dinner table.

“I don’t care how long you sit there Mister, you’re not moving until you eat every last vegetable on that plate!”

“Cow” (in a feeble-under-my-breath whisper).

“What did you say to me?”

“Nothing.”

“I’ll give you some ‘cow’ around the ears in a minute, Mister backchat”

That’s another thing nobody tells you – Mothers having super-human hearing; it’s like some in-built, special survival mechanism, chick thing. It puts us kids at a biological disadvantage. What kinda lame-ass ‘level’ playing field is that? I wish I learned about the hearing trick earlier. Coulda saved myself a lot of heartache. It’s amazing how scary a tiny little woman, with cooking utensils can be.

Did I mention their unique propensity to bend the truth?

“Mum, does this have broccoli in it…?”

“Hmm, don’t think so..”

LIAR!

Your pants are SO on fire Mary Harper.

When it came to vegetables, she had absolutely no morals. She would lie, cheat and coerce those horrible things into my mouth. She would look at me with that innocent, ‘but-I’m-your-mother-why-would-I-mislead-you’ face and then proceed to lie her ass off. Even when I’d find the offending vegetable in my meal (hidden cleverly under the good stuff), she’d come out with “I don’t remember putting that in there!!”

No wonder I have trust issues.

It wasn’t until I hit my twenties, that I actually began to understand and appreciate the psychology and the motivation behind my mother’s sneaky little habits. And yes, I did reluctantly discover that broccoli is amazingly good for me. Even though it doesn’t come close to cheesecake, I consume it on a regular basis because it’s good for me. Now, if only someone could only create a cheesecake with the nutritional values and benefits of broccoli! Or conversely, maybe grow some broccoli that tastes like cheesecake. Now there’s a business idea.

I now use the ‘Broccoli Principle’ when I am working with people in the areas of personal and professional development. Even as adults, we are addicted to the ‘yummy’ stuff (metaphorically speaking). The stuff that’s easy, the stuff that ‘tastes’ good, the stuff that doesn’t challenge us, get us out of our comfort zone or cause us to become stronger and more capable. It’s also usually the stuff that doesn’t allow us to grow and be ‘healthy’ (psychologically, emotionally, developmentally). We ‘eat’ what we want, rather than what we need. We’re adults behaving like spoiled brats. And what we end up with, is stunted emotional growth and personal development scurvy. In order to ‘grow’ properly, develop our potential and create our own version of ‘amazing’, we need to eat the broccoli that life serves up.

Okay, I’m off to investigate that cheesecake flavoured broccoli thing…

About the Author:

Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is the #1 ranked Motivational Speaker (according to Google). He is a qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host and owner of one of the largest personal training centres in the world.

International Speaker – Craig Harper

Article Source: ArticlesBase.comThe Broccoli Principle


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Harris, Eric (II)

Have you watched Universal Production’s classic film by John Waters – “Cry Baby”? If not, then watch Cry Baby the musical on Broadway! Mark Brokaw, the director, and Thomas Meehan, the writer of the book; have once again shown their unmatched talent through this latest musical on the block.

Opened in November, 2007 and performed through December, the musical is all set to entertain its audience in March, 2008. If you’re not an avid theatre fan and hardly watch Broadway shows, you must watch “Cry Baby” this time! There are several reasons for this:

John Waters, who produced the movie “Cry Baby”, has to his credit “Hairspray”, which was a super hit of Broadway and bagged 8 Tony Awards in 2003!

Thomas Meehan has written the book. He’s the same writer who wrote the smashing hits “Hairspray”, “Annie”, “The Producers”, and “Young Frankenstein”!

The musical has been choreographed by Rob Ashford, who won a Tony Award for “Thoroughly Modern Millie” and was nominated for Tony for “The Wedding Singer” as well as “Curtains.”

The musical has lyrics as well as music by David Javerbaum, who has won an Emmy Award, and Adam Schlesinger, who has been nominated for Grammy Award.

Although the plot is the typical bad-guy-loves-good-girl, the story is not at all predictable.

This is not all. Cry Baby musical on Broadway features James Snyder as the lead character of king of the Drapes named Wade “Cry Baby” Walker. This is his spring 2008 debut on Broadway with this role. Starring opposite him in the female lead is Elizabeth Stanley, who plays Cry Baby’s beau, Allison Vernon Williams. The role of Mrs. Vernon Williams, Allison’s grandmother, is played by Harriet Harris. She’s regarded as the imposing dame of comedy.

The other star cast includes Cristen Paige playing the role of Mona; Lacey Kohl playing Wanda; Carly Jibson playing the role of Pepper; Alli Mauzey in the character of Lenora, Chester Grefory II in the role of Dupree. The musical also has Christopher J. Hanke.

The creative group includes Ashley Amber, Cameron Adams, Michael D. Jablonski, Michael Buchanan, Nick Blaemire, Eric Christian, Joanna Glushak, Colin Cunliffe, Marty Lawson, Courtney Laine Mazza, Spencer Liff, Richar Poe, Mayumi Miguel, Peter Atthew Smith, Torrey Ross, Allison Spratt, Eric Sciotto, Stacey Todd Holt, and Charlie Sutton.

So, it’s time to book tickets for the Cry Baby musical on Broadway! Rather than wasting your time and energy at the box office, which is over-crowded, switch to the ticketing services. Call them or log online. You can even request home delivery of tickets.

You won’t be able to guess what happens of the good girl, Allison, and the bad guy, Wade, unless you watch the show. The show has some really good numbers, plus interesting performances by each character.

Get familiar with the teen life of the 1950s, rock ‘n’ roll music, and the temperament of parents. If you love musicals and love stories are to your taste, then Cry Baby musical on Broadway will soon become one of your favorite shows!

About the Author:

The author is devoted to New York entertainment including all things Broadway and has many articles with reviews of Cry Baby The Musical On Broadway which includes the best ways to get great seats for any Cry Baby The Musical On Broadway performance.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.comCry Baby the Musical on Broadway Will Soon Become Your Favorite!


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2008

Harper, Ted (II)

Jan 30
2008

Harper, Ted (II)

What is a Zeugma?

Zeugma is a rhetorical device where a single word is made to refer to two or more words in a sentence, often playing on the words’ literal and metaphorical meanings.

Smiling with a crooked smile that did little to hide his crooked intentions and crooked teeth, he said “Trust me.”

The verb ‘To hide’ controls two other words: intentions and teeth. But what is worthy of note in this zeugma is the juxtaposition of an abstract noun (intentions) to a concrete one (teeth).

Now, however, sloth triumphs over diligence, idleness over work, vice over virtue, arrogance over valor, and theory over the practice of arms which lived and shone only in the Golden Age and in the time of the knights errant (Cervantes 465).

I found her enchanted, transformed from a princess into a peasant, from beautiful to ugly, from an angel into a devil, from fragrant into foul-smelling, from well spoken into rustic, from serene into skittish, from light into darkness, and, finally from Dulcinea of Toboso into a lowborn farmgirl from Sayago (Cervantes 671).

With this simple device Cervantes adds delight and color to the narrative-by means of antithesis-at the same time that cultivates the reader’s attentiveness, forcing him to put two and two together to grasp the intended meaning.

Zeugmas used in a humorous vein:

Lenox said, “Hog, the only thing you save is your breath when you eat.”

After two unsuccessful marriages, I find myself keeping my guard up, along with my underpants (Grafton, C is for Corpse 15).

In Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice, we note Portia’s saucy speech:

How oddly he is suited [outfitted]! I think he bought his doublet in Italy, his round hose in France, his bonnet in Germany, and his behavior everywhere. (Act I, scene ii, line 72-72).

Zeugmas used to set the tone of a book, as in the Vicar of Wakefield:

From this motive, I had scarce taken orders a year before I began to think seriously of matrimony, and chose my wife as she did her wedding gown, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as would wear well (Goldsmith 4).

Zeugmas in Dialogue:

“Eliot, Michael’s untimely departure leaves us with a space both in our house and in our hearts” (Segal 112). “To our beloved new leader Jason Gilbert, ace racket-man and incomparable ass-man. May his shots in court drop as often as his shorts in bed” (Segal 143).

The governing word may be a noun as well as a verb, as we see in the following examples from Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, where the controlling word is the noun ‘hand’:

Calpurnia was something else again. She was all angles and bones; she was nearsighted; she squinted; her hand was wide as a bed slat and twice as hard (7).

and the controlling word is the verb ‘lost’ in the following example:

Mrs. Radley had been beautiful until she married Mr. Radley and lost all her money. She also lost most of her teeth, her hair, and her right forefinger (Dill’s contribution) (39).

From the above examples we infer that zeugmas may be employed to give the narration an air of lighthearted humor or banter. Just as the fool in Shakespearean dramas breaks the solemnity of the scene with parody and foolery, so does Cervantes in Don Quijote:

At this moment a gelder of hogs happened to arrive at the inn, and as he arrived he blew his reed pipe four or five times, which confirmed for Don Quixote that he was in a famous castle where they were entertaining him with music, and that the cod was trout, the bread soft and white, the prostitutes ladies, the innkeeper the castellan of the castle, and that his decision to sally forth had been a good one (Cervantes 29).

When zeugmas join concrete and abstract nouns, the combinations can stir up the reader’s emotions. Tim O’Brien’s novel The Things They Carried is replete with this type of zeugmas:

As a hedge against bad times, however, Kiowa also carried his grandmother’s distrust of the white man, his grandfather’s old hunting hatchet (3). He carried a strobe light and the responsibility for the lives of his men (5). But Ted Lavender, who was scared, carried 34 rounds when he was shot and killed outside Than Khe, and he went down under an exceptional burden, more than 20 pounds of ammunition, plus the flak jacket and helmet and rations and water and toilet paper and tranquilizers and all the rest, plus the unweighed fear (6).

See how Gabriel Garcia Marquez creates atmospheric tension with the use of one governing verb, ‘listening’:

He got dressed by feel, listening in the dark to his brother’s calm breathing, the dry cough of his father in the next room, the asthma of the hens in the courtyard, the buzz of the mosquitoes, the beating of his heart, and the inordinate bustle of a world that he had not noticed until then, and he went out in the sleeping street (Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude 27).

We haven’t exhausted the topic, for there are other zeugma derivatives that depend on what slot of the sentence the zeugma is placed in; but their sophistication can cause ambiguity and confusion; therefore we do not recommend their use.

About the Author:

Retired. Former investment banker, Columbia University-educated, Vietnam Vet (67-68).
For the writing techniques I use, see Mary Duffy’s e-book: Sentence Openers.
To read my book reviews of the Classics visit my blog: Writing To Live

Article Source: ArticlesBase.comZeugma -Rhetorical Device Used By Master Writers


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